This post is long pending...I started it almost a month ago when I was leaving home but I got delayed...I don't even know if I can gather up the same amount of sentiment that I had when I was initially writing it.
So it is time to say goodbye to my home...I thought the summer would never end but the end is so near now.
In the beginning of the summer, I just wanted summer to end and be back at my college and now...since it is right around the corner...I realized I will miss my family...the constant bickerings...the arguments, the subtle cares, the jokes we played on each other, bursting out in laughter in midst of a heated argument, philsophical conversations about the meaning of life and some uncomfortable conversations that I am sure kids don't have but I broached the subject regardless.
So, the summer was quite tedious but picked up pace in the end. I really needed adventure in the beginning and then...maybe I got some too...but it didn't matter anymore.
As soon I started working, those were almost 10-hour long days and then I would come home all broken and tired. Infact, I used to be a bollywood maniac and I must have seen 2 movies in total the whole summer...(almost 3 months)...that is crazy! I have changed so much...
At work though, I made some new friendships which I am quite happy about. The little flirtations, the little talks, the laughter, the boyfriend problems, facing the realities of work in the real world...it was interesting...! At some moments, I thought I want this for the rest of my life...yet at the same time, I also saw the monotoniety of the working life. I started wondering how will I avoid it because...I will get quite bored...maybe challenges will keep me going...hopefully! When I used to work, my mind used to wander to so many thoughts and I used to think so much...and it would drive me crazy sometimes...
Anyways, I am not a big shopper but I shopped a lot this summer...
Infact, I promised my mom that I will make an effort to look decent...! I have been successful so far, but only so far!
It is also funny how you just snap out of some things...like...I wanted to go to India so badly over the summer...but now that I am in college...I am really having a hard time deciding whether I should spend that $1400-1500 that I literally earned by sweating out my blood...(not even that dramatic but close enough! ;)) It is hard...it is so strange how you just change...one minute you can want something so badly and then in the next few weeks...you just grow out of it.
This proves the power of rationalizing...you will grow out of everything eventually! hehe!
Anyways, my best friend went to India...and had quite a few stories to tell me...which were quite interesting...and maybe if I was just a bit younger or if my mindset was a bit different, that alone would have been enough to make me want to go to India...but...not anymore...!
I wonder...
Usually, people don't reach this stage for quite a few years later or so I have heard but I am just so strange in so many ways...!
I do wonder...well not so much anymore since I am so busy these days...12-hour days? WOW!!! Never had those before...
It is like wake up in the morning at around 9 and then go to classes and have a few meetings..and then proceed on to work and present workshops...and then get home at around 10 or 11 pm at night!!!
Is that crazy or what? It is fun at the same time...being so busy....and just not having time for anyone...(that sounds mean) but it really is nice to be busy...!
So many things I have learnt about myself over the past summer...and still learning and exploring and finding out characteristics that I never deemed possible!!! Will this journey ever end?
It all comes back to the evolutionary question: What do I exactly want? Really, what do I want!
I suppose I am finding out! :P
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Personally I cannot agree with you on this, the fact being that I would much rather be working then whiling away endless hours of unproductive leisure at home. It's complicated, which can be attributed to the fact that once upon a time I spent such a large amount of time on leisure that I forgot what real leisure was, and leisure became a duty. How different my opinion would have been if I had been asked about this last year.. Oh well!
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